Excuse her while she slips into a position a little more comfortable

That is one sexy feline

So, how much do I owe you?

Stable Invariant Subspaces, Reflexivity, and Variables; How To Classify Friends as Clothing in a Postmodern World

So the other night Greg mentions he wants to wear more ties. He continues, "If I was a piece of clothing I think I'd be a tie." He was making an awful lot of sense to me at that moment. And what about me? a mitten. and Faery? pantyhose. This is not to say that she wears pantyhose, but it just seems accurate for some reason. It's brilliance lies in the simple fact that I could never be pantyhose and Greg could never be a Bill Cosby sweater.

So, in light of this discovery, we went through our mutual friends, set a few things straight and assigned each an article of clothing. Any issues? Take them up with Engert.

Jordan- football jersey
Scott- High-tops
Anna- a pork pie hat (this came to me this morning on the bus- Amazing!)
Corrie- a turtleneck
Erin- Boxer Briefs
Dana- a tank top

Jeez, is anyone else sick of photos of my cat?

Didn't think so...

And yes, she's totally on a leash. Much like I was at the tender age of 4. Seriously though, I required a leash through much of my childhood. Don't judge my parents for their inability to keep me near them at all times. For it is I who tried constantly to run away. Especially at supermarkets. But ESPECIALLY at Disneyworld.

Avert your eyes before you barf from cuteness!

-Sleeping Carona Ambushed with Santa Hat
7 more days!

Day 2...9 days and counting

Kelsey Gift Ideas Christmas 2007- 2nd Edition

A la Back to the Future II

Also starting today:

Countdown to see Lady Corona (of Purrchester) -

10 DAYS!!!

Buyer Beware- this is a long one. RE: Static Electricity Research

This morning I set out to discover why I'm more static-y electric than anyone else in the whole world. Warning- findings may shock and disturb you. (haha puns!) (No, but they totally wont- but it might be good to know- (let me foreshadow for you- MENUSTRATION))

Also-so I dont risk sending myself to jail for 5 years for plagerism- thank you wikipedia, howstuffworks.com , and the lonely purveyor of the School for Champions website.

This is what happens. So, low moisture environments build up electromagnetic charges. (Ahem, winter + dryer = me as some sort of S.E. Superhero) When the humidity is high it coats surfaces with moisture which neutralizes the charges and you dont get shocked as much. Also something about chemical bonds but I wasn't being a very vigilent reader.

Most important thing first..it turns out I'm not going to spontaneously combust or anything. It's just a nusance.

A few of the causes of particulalry static-y people:
Not enough iron in your blood (not enough oxygen in these cells-check)
dry skin (check)
synthetic materials- especially underwear. (haha) (sometimes check)
drink too much carbonated beverage (check)
Menstruation (back to the low iron and dry skin) (sometimes check)

Solution- rub yourself with a wire coat hanger before you leave in the morning. It will neutralize you.

In Conclusion---(Highlights)
Someone asked School of Champions champion why her kitten sparked when she touched it. Will the kitten catch on fire?

Ans- Nope. Only if said kitten was sleeping in gasoline.
I smell a science experiment!

The Post Y'all Been Waiting For

FAV PALINDROMES


Taco Cat (obvs) (the "obvs" was not part of the palindrome...obvs)

Tulsa Nightlife: Filth, Gin, a Slut

Straw Warts

Damn! I, Agassi miss again. Mad!

Egad! No bondage?

Nate bit a Tibetan.

Mom's Dad & Dad's Mom!?!

Flee to me, remote elf.

Yo, banana boy!

Swap for a pair of paws?

So..I came to DC in '91 and all I got was this amazing safari hat...

I came I saw
I conquered

Kelsey Gift Ideas- Christmas 2007. First Edition

Being Sick Blows Real Hard

Here are some things I would rather be doing than sitting on my couch like an asshole watching llifetime movies. (In this order)

Vandalizing photos of expensive porcelain horses

This is how we do it

Top Five Text Messages in my Phone

5."Where is the ER bar?" (in response to telling my room mate I was in the E. R.)

4. "You are the muscular captain of the varsity team's floozie"

3. "Ur cute when ur being catholic."

2. "Stay outta me parade ya wee dancing fairy."

1. "you jane fonda whore"

Bummer of a Day

Every annoying, mundane thing that could have possibly happened on the way to work today, did. It was like a perfect storm.

1. It was rainy and cold. and my feet got soggy.

2. I couldn't find one of my shoes and my tights got a hole in them OUT OF NOWHERE

3. I missed bus #1 by 30 seconds (approx) and waited forever for the next one. in the rain.

4. Man, being stuck in traffic on a metrobus is the absolute worst of them all.

5. Bus #2 didn't even stop at all because Fedex was in the way. and I waited forever again. When one finally came, the wheelchair lady got on. I'm not against said wheelchair lady, obvs, but it takes a long time to get her all settled and I was already late for work AND I never even had my coffee yet.

6. My coffee place only had decaf.

7. Debt Collectors are lame

Fact: Pterodactyls way more interesting than Bigfoot and UFOs combined

I like to squeeze in some research time every day be it about tube socks or conch shells or Long Island circa 1955. My latest search uncovered the greatest series of websites in the world. Ever. Subject: Living Pterodactyls.

Apparently, in Umboi (in Papua New Guinea (I was an anth major, nbd)) there have been several sightings of "pterosaur-like creatures." Oh yes, I will find one.

http://www.ropens.com/

http://www.laattorneyvideo.com/nonlegal/pterosaurs/what/

Tomorrow's research: a really good beef stew recipe.

Part 1: Things I Found on my Computer at Work

Apparently,

we made this award for Aaron Spelling

I wish it was April 26 and I was making big plans for a trip to San Antonio. Or Alberta or something.

My Most Hated Cliches of All Time Ever

1. Wear your heart on your sleeve- they always use this one on reality television. and then they cry a little.

2. At the end of the day...

3. "I WILL say this.." I dont know if this is a cliche, but I hate when people start a sentence with this line. It's as if by the grace of god there was a chance you WERENT going to say this...

4. Kill two birds with one stone...Can we not come up with anything less grusome?

5. Beat them at their own game- this should only be spoken in a bad movie from 1992

6. Crazy like a fox...no wait, i love that saying

7. Waiting with baited breath...eww

8. Man's best friend

9. "what are you..Stanada" that was my dad's line...not that it's scarred me or anything

10. Stiff upper lip...this reminds me of hairlips (which totally freak me out)

Tis the Reason

Does one need a reason to keep a blog...I mean other than for feeding that pesky sense of self-importance that has been overwhelming one's life as of late? No sense in a travel blog...I havent been beyond Silver Spring in months. If it was diary style it would be more boring than laguna beach (but hopefully more entertaining than its successor- newport harbor) I ran into a blog about mustaches from the nineteenth century ...that was pretty cool. Maybe if I had any skills or interests- you know, aside from watching bad television and who really wants to hear about that.

All we can hope for is that once day this will evolve into something brillant and lasting. One for the books. However, knowing me, and keeping with par for the course on everything I start in my life, this will be my first and last entry.